Victor McSurely

2007-03-28T06:24:00.000-07:00

not the easiest weeks energy-wise, jane in full recoup and everything else the usual demand. but now jane is better, and things seem to be moving forward otherwise as well. and spring is coming as well. micheal petrucci came over yesterday to set up drums, 10 minutes down on tape things sound pretty amazing and the new emt 140 plate reverb is awesome and doing it's job. and happy for me it looks like trucci will be back. he gave bridge his first drum lesson which was really sweet and well done. still a lot to do with the website, have to find some help....

2007-03-11T21:21:00.000-07:00

pretty busy time. last week was a heavy one for acquisitions for the studio (bizarre and amazing deals), and the for website too, the big moment of going live is drawing close. and what will probably be the craziest acquisition a huge plate reverb chamber that will take a village to move back to the room. jane getting back on her art horse from not winning the prize, but of couse in there being no rest she is in to have her gall bladder removed tomorrow...... my health also on the fence, though wrist is finalllly healing after some chiropractic work... should be an interesting week coming up. no empty moment until saturday.....

2007-02-27T06:49:00.000-08:00

busy week, couple of weeks. something like 13 shows and some recording in 9 days. jane and bridge away for the weekend, but i was just too tired to move. feeling somewhat isolated these days. absorbed on my treadmill where my relationships are quite established, or there are constraints to do with my role either way the path of least resistance being to pick up where things were left off, in a paradigm where things are mainly predetermined by what has come before. anyhow the challenge seems to be about being self affirming as in what it takes to go into the kitchen and cook well for only oneself, as much as recharging the lines of force.

2007-02-12T18:45:00.000-08:00

not the easiest week, console power supply gong down and one little set back after another, fell on some ice and sprained my wrist. suffered through some shows and a few bad nights sleep. jane's sister and family came to town for a pretty pleasant visit. it's always a fun challenge to have company especially in our tiny house. bridge's cousin claire fascinated by our mouse. bridge learning to read. finished go dog go....

2007-02-04T21:53:00.000-08:00

big week at blue man, putting new instruments in to a piece there. now i get to be professional rock bassist. lots of fun, but not with out first upsetting some people inadvertantly, it's amazing how that happens sometimes, the misunderstandings, the way people are reasonably offended despite the best of intentions. all very tiring. all of this followed by a show where pretty much every little twiddly thing that can misbehave does so. strange how matter almost has a mind of it's own, at times, and it seems as if the more one has the a certain degree of mastery over a small corner of an environment the more blatant it gets. probably i (and some of the others at work as well) need a vacation. jane's called for one today, her suffering anxiet as this week her artist of the year show is to be judged and while i don't think she cares at all about the competition, it is always a challenge for her to be scrutinized. bridge is well, we spent a a lot of time acquire some legos yesterday. and today built some awesome spaceships, and had a great walk in the golf course. there is an amazing hill waiting to be shedded if we ever get some show....

2007-01-29T17:25:00.000-08:00

trying a new stategy little bit of late to have one day where i don't really really push myself every week, a day off of sorts.... jon over to work on stick parts to be sub. and then i'm late for picking up emme and bridge for their first ski lesson. emme is totally awesome, though the scene at the lodge (all pretty much across the street from bridge's school) is mayhem. finally after an hour or so they are out on the little hill walking sideways up the rug strip, and making pizza (i.e. snowplowing) down the hill. on his last run bridge also managed to turn, and it was pretty amazing. he knew it too. it was good to have some time with some of the other parents. though now i am tired from getting too cold..... up late last night studying the effects of EMI and trying to figure out why the walls of my studio make my coil pickups hum.....

2007-01-28T21:12:00.000-08:00

bridge is a joy. late night show last night and so i'm up a little later but still i hear him downstairs explaining and asking about all sorts of things. he's quite taken with the design work on his website at clublego.com and many other things. yesterday he went to his first peace rally, with a sign that read: jedis for peace. appearently people really loved it and were saying how right it was, that obi-wan kenobi and yoda were definitely pacifists, and that kind of thing. morning spent combing through an approach for the day, some more testing of equipment in basement, some kind of strange rf thing going on with the insulation down there, but i've got some ideas....in for two good shows. and then the guitar circle, where we worked on a new piece and part of another new peace both of which i'm pretty happy with the direction they are taking.

2007-01-25T21:17:00.000-08:00

grumpy bridge into school, home not enough sleep, so couched out watching Pride and Predjudice, very good production and Darcy so archetypically played. reccaped the mci's main caps and cleaned them too. listened to disorder (joy division) about 4 times considering it for negc cover, not sure still though i'm haunted all the day by it and sure it will be visiting me tonight.... work watching the show. much is happening but i've been removed to some extent. and it is a little unsettling to watch it float by somewhat.... still i insert the important things at the right time and people seem to really appreciate that. more research on web commerce.... hope i can land this soundfile download idea....

2007-01-24T22:21:00.000-08:00

morning recovering from rough night with digestive tract.... but in the end better slept than a while. dreams not so disturbing. fixing and tidying, and into work for a longish meeting, there is a heavy energy in there which is quickly dispelled by any small effort, but it quickly returns as well.... finally some good practice time, and god it feels great to get back to the hands a little. show was good, though there was something a wild horse in the loft. home and setting new flatwounds on the viola bass, and checking to see that headphone amp was fixed. which it was, the MCI console continues to amaze me, mainly because it is fixable. it is a totally different world of engineering to what i grew up with. something that is designed to last a very very very long time, to be repairable, instead of obsolescence. truly one half of the current crises could be viewed as subscription to obsolescence.

2007-01-23T22:19:00.000-08:00

slow sleepy day up after an awful and very long dream. some stuff done, but not as much as i'd like, though teaching bridge to read is a great experience, and really, i think, a good work for him. and then later at night a very upset stomach.

2007-01-22T19:32:00.000-08:00

steve wilkes over to test drive the studio, nearly all systems go, very exciting and steve was thrilled too. later bridge down to listen to the short session's mix, and him pretty jazzed about steve's drumming, asking for lessons. he hit the falsetto octave ooh singing oh darlin' accapella this morning, my jaw dropped. meditation group with jane tonight. now back to work....

2007-01-21T22:11:00.000-08:00

new year, several converging enterprises and a few life commitments. the circle, the jam sessions, the studio, web marketing, the writing, the creation of sounds. the family, the job..... everyday a little bit of everything. today, gus and luke and jill over for a visit. long term friends are indeed a wonder. not sleeping great. a cloudy mind is a, is a, um....

2006-01-09T17:37:00.000-08:00

up and listening to jane get bridge off. me scrambling to get out the door to see this 1" 8 track i've been thinking about getting up in new hampshire. of course it turns out to be farther away than it seemed. slow rainy traffic some beautiful spots i'd have loved to stop at.... the machine of course having broke down while it was stored as we eventually uncovered, and the complexity of trying to figure out what exactly was wrong all the more agravating that the parts that worked sounded so amazing, they don't make em like they used too. so i wind up leaving back on the road for another 3 hours empty handed. nice talk by george mcgovern on the radio on the way up. reminding me of the time i was bridge's age (4) and donated 20 cents to his presidential campaign. they announced it on the t.v. we were watching at my grandmother's house. he's still going strong and had some great things to say about social security. much introspection on the way home wondering if there is some special significance to seeming difficulty of accomplishing practically everything currently. and my inner state, like bradley was saying,"the fine line between detachment and collapse." big telescope up to look at the moon, couldn't land mars in it, though it seemed right there. another bizarre defeat.

2006-01-08T17:29:00.000-08:00

up to teach assist at sunday school. nice group of kids. during the candle lighting ceremony of children's chapel the first 5 kids lit candles for the death of a cat hamster rat rabbit and dog. happier thoughts followed not the least of which was bridge who lit his candle to celebrate that his mommy had gotten him a video game for christmas. much oohing and ahhhing from the others. did an alright job with the kids. home and improvising the day a bit. shari over with free and hazel, bridge so excited to see free and hazel that he could hardly stay in his skin. tiger, the cat coming to visit for a few days. in the end a nice day. over to the dojo to work with the circle the extra time i left myself to prepare being eaten up by various bodily necessities, and that too recurrent moment of wondering what am i going to do for these good people.

2006-01-06T20:59:00.000-08:00

and so victor arrives at the other side of another holiday season. the shopping, the blue man party, the pre christmas shows, the christmas at aunt christine's, the drive home in the pouring rain, the christmas shows all ten of them, the 38th birthday, the new years eve's shows and blue man party, new years, more shows, jane's birthday, mother margaret's birthday, much to think about, much to do. much planning for an art installation with jane. getting the equipment and the sounds for the 'artic listening post'. a lot to do.... today ok, up real early, like 6:30 with bridge. getting bridge's situation together for school. he seems to have made another transition of late, one where he is thinking through crisis and frustration, realizing he can use his reason to reunderstand a situation and find a new option for being happy and making things work. he has repeated this behavior daily for the past 3 days. jane coming home from the bridge drop off becoming very upset that i did not inform her that i hadn't been able to clean the car since the cousins muddied it during the christmas event. the two of us managed a pretty good team getting it clean. something of an uninterrupted nap today, much needed, as it has been a fairly long stretch, and i could see the fatigue effecting my work. and tonight i could see the difference. been recommending the movie 'serenity' to everyone. and watching a download of the 2nd season of battlestar gallactica am more deeply amazed that firefly was not picked up.

2005-12-16T08:34:00.000-08:00

more home time with bridge. some good play, recording drums with b in the basement, and then also doing a mural with b in the basement, while listening to 'love cannot bear', the new frippertronics album, which is quite amazing. at night j and i slip out to see this new movie called 'one'. which these guys produced and wound up getting some great teachers as well as ordinary people off the street to speak about life's big questions. jane's teacher, llewellyn vaughn lee figures prominently in it. and there are some terrific moments with robert thurman and ram dass. one quote: ram dass is asked why there is so much depression and after some reflection in a slow voice he answers,"because the game is not as much fun as we thought it would be." the whole event leads me to ponder further what i am to do with my knowlege and understanding for those who are seeking. also brings up the question with jane about how necessary is it in our parenting for her to share in that knowlege. after some very slippery driving we have a nice short dinner with ellen driscoll, a fantastic artist..

2005-12-14T21:06:00.000-08:00

jane furious at me for not waking her up. bridge into school, and i spend an hour and half recovering. a couple of hours cleaning out the garage and moving the outdoor funiture in and i find a message that b's school has called and he's got a slight fever. he's home and j's off to work. we roll through the afternoon, this and that, waves of the fever, and then i'm off to work. one of my better shows in a while. some christmas shopping and home.

2005-12-13T20:59:00.000-08:00

played a new game we picked up yesterday with bridge. it's about dinosaurs and has true and false questions and multiple choice. interesting to watch the gears turn. he's never thought in those kind of catagories before. he's quite good at the game. actually there was only one question of all the cards he got wrong. on the way home from school he asked," what does 'false' mean?" beside the obvious 'opposite of true' i tried to explain how sometimes things that you first figure out to be true turn into something false because you learn more about them. like the iguanadon's thumb, which was first taken to be a horn on his nose. i asked bridge what the things were that were 'true': trees, flowers, mountains, the earth. and then i asked if the sun was true. he said it wasn't because it came and went, but then we thought about how it comes and goes in the same way, and concluded that it was special kind of true.

2005-12-12T19:43:00.000-08:00

bump bump bump, all kinds of maintaining taking place, most of it taking several wrong turns before the right turn is even accessible. and therefore things take a long time. cars and shoveling snow. bridge really tired, we're figuring out he needs to sleep more somehow. jane also tired, and myself as well, we're figuring out we need more sleep.

2005-12-11T23:08:00.000-08:00

into church to cover jane's volunteer spot for sunday school. did a pretty good job. i enjoy relating to kids. we made birdfeeders out of pinecones and peanut butter and birdseed. and then i was a tree for the kids to play birds hiding under. and then i called simon says. which thanks to frank sheldon i have a profound appreciation of. it's so great to watch children play it. they are astonished that they can discriminate between the two kinds of instruction. as they listen they are simply amazed that they can pay attention and know that if they do they will know if they are being tricked or not. and it's like this is the coolest thing ever. out shopping trying to find the food that will be best for this body now. and then realizing that i'm real low on blood sugar. home and a whirlwind of activity to prepare for jane's return, and for bridge, who is celebrating his 4 1/2 birthday today. in for a show, which was bizarrely sloppy by the band as a whole, and yet still spirited and appropriate. (the turntable still working) and then rushing home to be daddy (and somewhat a husband), and then back out again to talk with mary beth and glenn about this idea i have for opening up the circle to trail attendence.

2005-12-10T20:57:00.000-08:00

another day of somewhat sleeping in, though with the usual dreamful sleep. after some bumbling about i finally head out to get the car's wheels aligned and check out the new speakers i want to get for the dressing room at blue man. much back and forth about getting the right things. i want it to be right, have some good sounding equipment. ah yes good sounding equipment, such an obsession these days, maybe a retreat from the constant noise which surrounds me. the speaker work and i get them and back to the nearby car and head out to the return the video's when i notice they've overlooked adjusting the steering wheel. "bring it in at your next convenience, so i turn around and head back."the guy who works on that just went home, you'll have to come back monday." hmmm what's going on these days? i'm thinking it's pretty amazing. well. a quick stop home to get the power amp, and i'm in to work to set up the new vinyl friendly system. (all obtained for $45) and hooray it all works. and it sounds good. i'm growing more convinced of the bizarre and eccentric theories that analogue sound carries more musical power than digital. does it more concretely carry the psychic fingerprint of the artist? is it the total harmonic distortion quotient? or perhaps its all mumbo jumbo.... well then there's the fact that the shows were both amazing. home, and more frittering about. before sleeping again.

2005-12-09T21:55:00.000-08:00

jane and bridge off to nyc/granny's, so i get to sleep in a bit. then tragic comedy of errors. i awake and there is 4 inches of snow and more coming down. i run down to get the steering aligned on our recently repaired car thinking that the snow will keep people away, but actually it just drove people to show for snow tires. on the news at the tire shop they are saying the snow will clear up in two hours. i head out calling the stage manager to be sure the workshop i have to get to is still on, and he tells me yes. realizing i have an extra 5 minutes before the long drive in the snow into work i stop in the cool thrift store there. i head in not realizing khaled has called me back on the cell phone i left in the car. when i get to work after driving in the snow for 50 minutes he tells me he left me a message that the workshop was cancelled. well figuring that the snow was going to ease up in about an hour i waited around a bit and headed out. well, actually the snow got worse, blizzard conditions i spend an hour and half trying to get home, roads a dead standstill in every route home. i have to wind up leaving the car in jamaica plane and taking the subway back to work so i can make it in on time for the show. after the show screnci and i try to make it out to see syriana but the roads are all clear and people have made it in for the movies. some pinball instead and then home to find the drifts in the driveway and sidewalk are about 14 inches. shovel shovel shovel.

2005-12-07T17:12:00.000-08:00

spent a bit of time replying to an email from an old friend, anita demas, someone i've known from first grade whom i went to school with all 11 years i was in school, whom thanks mainly to the internet has reconnected somewhat. she was letting me know what she found at our high schools 20th reunion. her's is a great perspective as she remembers the elementary school world. it's in interesting effect of the internet and technology that our history stays closer with us. there's no more just moving to the next town and starting over. perhaps now people will start to become accustomed to people reinventing themselves without going away. high school wasn't much socially for me in relation to my class as i was firmly embedded with the outsiders during the fallout of my half brother, gus, dying and my parent's divorce. dec 7th is gus's birthday. for years afterwards my mother and i would go and plant bulbs down on the potomac river near where he died. i believe there are so many down there one or two still make it up come spring. found out my car will take a long time to fix, and might be totalled, and as i started to see what i might be able to get should it be so, i got a little depressed. over to gus and luke's for a playdate. the highlight being flashlight hide and seek, which is just hysterical 3 four year olds hunting around in the dark with their flashlights for their parents. you can really get a glimpse of what a traumatic position the soul undergoes coming down here, and the fun that can be had. home and the little matters, and an hour at the intro. not one complete pass. damn. i'm going to have get serious.

2005-12-06T17:07:00.000-08:00

still a lot of resistance, but i managed to pull off about 4 hours of personal practice and get a few things done around the house. the intro is coming along and i think i actually made it all the way through from memory once. the drill to play this piece from memory is reminding me of some of the buddist exercises of recreating an intricate drawing of the buddha in the mind's eye. been thinking more about this notion that the ability to discriminate between impressions effects the ability to remember. the corelation between meditation and memory (and therefore rememberance) takes on another aspect seen in this light. interestingly watching television and especially commercials seems to work against cultivation of memory. in fact it wouldn't surprise me if there is some intentional hypnotic or self forgetting effect of sensory overload used to insinuate the need to consume the product that takes place....

2005-12-05T23:52:00.000-08:00

another not great day. similar pattern to the day before. some good progress on moto perpetuo, but up too late to make it. watched the new willy wonka, and was actually quite impressed.

2005-12-04T17:41:00.000-08:00

got to sleep in a little and then up to help with sunday school at the unitarian church. bridge loves making things and that's what they do there. the woman who ran our group was fairly sharp and i seemed to do well enough getting the new kid to find an angle to participate. during the church lunch i notice how vulnerable i am to my impressions of people, similar experience the night before at work, am having this very strange sense of seeing the whole mechanism of a person when they are talking to me... over to the wheeler's nice house in the new snow, bridge having more fun with his friends while i help andrew on his new bass. home and nap while b and j go out to a birthday party. jane is exhausted, and t.v.'s out drawing me in... afterwards a little practicing on moto perpetuo, which i can easily imagining working on for 2 more years. 3 or 4 minutes of music.... it's been a couple of months now, and i'm still enchanted with the opening bars.... after this i became drawn into a letter from a member of the circle, and wound up staying up quite late pondering it's significance.

2005-12-03T17:30:00.000-08:00

long day at work, very difficult to do the shows. no extra energy whatsoever. fortunately i was inspired enough to take a shower before the second show. this was a big relief, as i started to get sore from my long bikeride home in some pretty steep winds the night before.

2005-12-02T23:28:00.000-08:00

some good work happening in studio, but tape machine still sounds like it needs to be demagnetized. fixed washing machine turned out a really bad noise was justa drywall screw stuck in one of the holes in the bottom of the machine, felt rediculously proud of myself for accomplishing this. decent show at work. though feeling pretty spent.road bike into work and it took longer than it does in the summer. mainly because it is darker, but also because it is colder. stopped by shari's house to borrow a demagnitizer from danny. their son, Free, is now 12 1/2 and reminds me a great deal of myself at that age. was finally able to figure out that my demagnitizer is dead and that is why things haven't been working right....

2005-12-01T11:21:00.000-08:00

chores and tasks trying to remember... out for groceries. shopping on an empty stomach. it sometimes amazes me the options there are to eat. and that bread and cercus is so pleasant. still i usually buy the same things.... good, necessary further work on moto perpetuo almost have the intro in the fingers, but it's at times a kind of tongue twister and even the intro memorization is substantial, it will be an experience to move on from the base camp up into the rest of the piece. i heard somewhere that people with good memories are also better at excluding unnecessary information in their day to day life. i wonder about this. some work about the studio ironning out the bugs. and then a straightforward show.

2005-12-01T06:10:00.000-08:00

wednesday: mostly slept today, though i did manage to get the garbage out in time. out to look for shoes for bridge's growing feet, and then an all too rare moment, jane and i out alone together. checking out the harry potter, which was good enough, but probably would've been better as a mini-series. it is astonishing though how much energy and production have come out of those stories.

2005-12-01T05:56:00.000-08:00

during the tuesday morning routine of getting bridge off to school my nieghbor calls. to say that someone just rear ended my car and is driving off up the street. fortunately while i'm out inspecting the damagethe young man (probably about 16) comes down the street with his nieghbor. he's really distrought. well, bridge who's been really upset about going to school is thrilled, it's a day off. though after a bad night's sleep, i'm wondering how i'll make it. well, turns out to be an ok day, we write a few songs. and spell out a list of all musical instruments. at night jamie edwards 40th birthday. spend most of the time talking to steve wilkes and jenny fordham. steve is just back from a long stay in japan studying the cutting edge of digital percussion. jamie's just back from his tour with amy mann. turns out to be a late night. jamie had good time. i had a nice exchange about where i'm at with my music carreer with shari. she's really rolling now with one cd out and another starting to cook. i'm in a long recovery from the sweepers it seems. partly from exhaustion, and partly i think because of the type of town boston is and type of person i am, though it couuld be that things are changing.

2005-11-28T20:52:00.000-08:00

bridge into school me into library. big music assembly today. the woman had all of the children in the palm of her hands. me hiding, spying on bridge. if he'd of scene me it might have been a scene. she had them all singing from the first verse and had some very clever children's songs.
and i must say the school sang very well together. on the way home the first optomistic news on the news of late

http://www.onpointradio.org/shows/2005/11/20051128_a_main.asp

http://www.stirlingenergy.com/

these guys are prepared to change the country's energy source. fully prepared.

home, and at a remix of blueman number for studio publicity. sounding better... but many details. some tech breakthroughs blah blah blah. bridge home, and seems to not be feeling well. spent all afternoon coloring animals, except for a funny arthur t.v. break with yo yo ma and joshua redman, and much bickering amonst the kids over what type of music is best the was another story which i remember being quite funny as i was nodding off...oh yeah, arthur starts to get hooked on this baby show the love ducks, which are an obvious satire of the teletubbies and boohbahs. hilarious. jane finally home and another tiff with bridge who was finally at the end of energy. jane as well. after a long going to bed, jane and i had a more serious talk about having another child. took jane some effort to wrap her mind around how i look at struggles and conditions and don't get pessimistic. it seems one of my great challenges to integrate the (my) rational mind's functional but fragmentating capacity with inspiration and creation. how to stay responsible to conditions but not be bound by them.

2005-11-27T23:26:00.000-08:00

up before 5am with an upset stomach. my ability to digest certain kinds of cheese has practically ceased. got about a half hour sleep in after that before bridge woke up. morning with bridge at the bagel store. taught bridge another important word: intentional. talked about what it is like to do things without accidents. this is, for me, one of the critical qualities which discerns the higher world from the outer world - the occurence of accidents. it is a funny thing to do too, to define the word intentional, it's not quite the same as on purpose, and without accidents is a negative definition, 'just so' is close, 'just the way you mean it to be'.... this word is right up there with persistent in it's fundamental importance. went into work only to find that the shows were pushed an hour forward, but somehow, my alternate, robb, had shown up thinking he was doing the first two shows so no one noticed my lateness. took a nap on a couch at work, because it's more peaceful there than at home during the day, and after doing the holiday schedule (24 shows in 8 days after christmas....) with robb and dave came home for another hour with bridge. in finally for a good show. and home.

2005-11-26T20:31:00.000-08:00

got to sleep in today, but when it was over it still wasn't enough. fell into watchin gbull durham on tv. which is a very funny movie. impromtu playdate with gus and luke, but bridge was having a really hard time. at night we had a get together around a firepit in the backyard a wake for taylor's mom. people reading things and singing. jane did a good job getting the whole thing together and it was an experience to hear people talk about how they approach death and dying. something that's been a major interest of mine since i was little.

2005-11-25T23:49:00.000-08:00

nice morning. the first time, i can remember getting to practice when waking up with bridge. he's getting very driven about learning to write as a way to learn to read. spent a moment going to down to get a hymnal for tomorrow's little get together for taylor's mom. our nieghbor has the same house as us, but they've modified it quite a bit, amazing to see. wrote down my thoughts about having another child. jane and bridge home from the dentist and we're off to get our christmas tree. of course for us, it means getting a tree to plant. the rest of the day spent planting a 7 foot spruce. landscaping done right is no small feat. after all, there are lines of force and power which run through everything. in the end the tree looks quite nice. off to work. pulled over for a broken headlight. a couple of days ago a trash truck going the other direction threw a small piece of pipe up off the road. it spun through the air across my lane, lined up end to end so it could carry the necessary mass, and hit my headlight dead center. i believe that if we had tried to make this happen 100,000 times we wouldn't have succeeded. well, the policeman who was quite nice explained to me that he'd just pulled over a black man and given him a warning so now he was pulling over a white guy. fortunately i don't think he was serious. at work the fatigue of planting the tree started to hit. but i pulled through, during the second show i fell into showing this video of this amazing christmas light display.
http://www.mypartypost.com/watchvideo/1033/Best_Christmas_Lights_Display_Ever
the last show at blue man was pretty amazing. the drummer micheal pretruccio is at a transcending station.

2005-11-24T18:38:00.000-08:00

thanksgiving. ok, bridge very enthusiastic for me to get up and play, but i took the chance to sleep in. unfortunately most of the extra time was spent dreaming about trying to catch a mouse with my bare hands. making the thanksgiving day lasagna. and off the thanksgiving at the cort's. alex is bridge's friend and his mom julia invited us to her family's dinner. she is a producer for the nova tv show, and alex's dad is the man in charge of excavating the pyramids in egypt or more truthfully at this point the place where the builders of the pyramids lived. julia's folks are old leftist catholics who have an interesting story and a fairly large family. they were all impressed by my family history. when we got back from a trip to the playground bridge saw the turkeys on the table and burst into tears saying really upset that birds were being eaten. super hero mommy stepped in and explained they weren't wild turkeys, which somehow made a bit of a difference. we played a rather bizarre game called 'up jenkins' which they were all convinced was an ancient game, though i'm not sure that the grandfather didn't invent it to keep all his children busy. somehow i managed to deceive the other team twice. struggling a little to say the right thing for jane who hasn't had the easiest day. a quick google reveals that up jenkins is a real game, though there were several modified reveals of the coin they'd come up with.

2005-11-23T23:37:00.000-08:00

up early. bridge working at his new desk, where he proceeds to work until 10:20 stenciling letters and shapes. visit from gus and luke, and they all fall into to this indescribable 4 yera old energy vortex of chaos and play which lasts long after i have to go to work. first in to co-op with jill (mother of gus and luke). on the way it strikes me how close we are, and yet how there is much we might never talk about, and partly never need to talk about. in some ways this unusual friendship is just about being together and the help that comes is just through that companionship, unlike many friendships i've had where there is a focus on figuring out personal problems and helping through problem solving. partly there are necessities about the relationship which are supporting what's between the children, which does seem remarkable, and has sustained now for 2 and half years. work was long and loud, but promising.

2005-11-22T00:42:00.000-08:00

woke up and had coffee, got bridge into school only to remember that it was the day when parents come to watch the class. there were all kinds of parents there. it was a circus. bridge had a great time. until i had to leave that is. worked in the library and thought for a moment about becoming a librarian. paid some more bills on the way home, and then worked around the house. got bridge and went to see the snowy owl. home and play, and then cooked dinner, which was, as i had set myself, my first meal of the day. it was interesting to try and use the hunger as a reminding force. helpful. though i saw how any action and any non-action can become egotism. aligned my mixdown deck, practiced and sat.

2005-11-21T20:57:00.000-08:00

slept a fair amount today. somewhat drained. taught bridge the word persistant. probably as an important a word that exists.

2005-11-20T20:49:00.000-08:00

awake at 6:30 by sad bridge, his cousins having abandoned him in the night for their mother downstairs. trying to teach his heart one of life's major lessons: "it's not about you." much bumping about and leading the circus through various breakfast and morning needs then a little nap and then in to the unitarian church. a pretty genius service by lilli nye on thanksgiving, and the gee's bend community on the alabama river (google it). very heavy and whole. home and a little nap but not before a major incident at the discovery that i had accidently destroyed a jane's gift for her friend that she'd worked so hard on. up and a bass lesson for a friend and into work for another heavy day at work. fortunately it was about resolution of all the loose ends and spade work from friday. plus the sound man made major improvements to my monitor sound and for the first time in weeks i could hear what i play. so things seem now on course. after work i had dinner at the arpeggio cafe down the street from where we used to live, full of personal memories, morninings with baby bridge, and the counter woman who used to give us bagels still the same. took a chance to go over cambridge center for adult education to see if a guitar circle course would fit in. small circle tonight, with a guest observer, but things seemed to go well. metis, this idea from peter kingsley's book 'reality' is really the best description from where i currently sit of what it takes to run and work in the circle.

2005-11-19T12:18:00.000-08:00

visit from sister in law family day. exciting stuff for bridge, and a bit of a tornado in the house, with the 3, 4 and 5 year old all together. trip to the science museum, with me winding up watching the kids a lot while the sisters catch up. home and more kid sitting and watching acted version of madeline, which was impressively entertaining. off to a much less contradictory show at work, and then to the glenn's big 4-0 birthday party, a performance by the guitar quartet new england. not too shabby, though a little worse for ware (speaking to my own part.) afterwards i sat in with glenn and shaun, which was again not too shabby though a little worse for ware. spent some time listening to the rerelease of little feat's waiting for columbus in the car. i am somewhat entranced by this era of this band right now. their time feel the complexities and subtleties of the arrangements, and the flow of the songwriting. and am also noticing this quality that tony was mentioning at the course, which was about the attention given to the end of notes. i wonder if there is an acting term for the ability to end phrases and parts well.

2005-11-18T20:31:00.000-08:00

up to get bridge into school, him being more contrary than usual. home and then a call that he'd thrown up a little, but wasn't feeling particularly sick. ok, then. off to dr. chang for tui na. lots of work on the skull. at times i thought his hand were actually going into my skull. very strange. he did some very intense work on my sinuses as well. which was good because the sinus condition i've been carrying around for over a week now left in 3 hours.... home for brief interrupted nap and off to band meeting where the latest travesties and misprojections created absolutely thick and poisoned conditions for the nights work. i'm curious to hear the show. at the end of the night and judging by the crowds response, there is little way to be sure how the performance actually came off. did what i and the other musician's go through have anything to do with what came out? and what does that have to do with what people get? it's bizarre. and probably there is some kind of lesson to learn from this repeated experience. many more heavy talks and meetings before and after, much sense of meddling and hoping i'm helping, damned if you do damned if you don't. home to wife and sister watching some chick flick and now for this new chinese herbal concoction.

2005-11-17T20:24:00.000-08:00

still not feeling great. going to see the chinese tui na doctor tomorrow. big grocery trip and getting bridge and then getting the house in order. listening to the the cocteau twins, i find it one of those bizarrely intoxicating combinations: listening loudly to 'pearly dew drops drops' and 'akie guinea' at dusk, in the fall, in massachusetts. it's one of those things that all aspects have to be there (and it's better on vinyl). i'm not sure what it is, it's as though the music and the forces of nature all fit together.... into work to find fellow band mates somewhat drained. actually had to go away during the break, got still more focus on moto perpetuo intro, and am feeling excited about it. current quote that haunts the days: "The obstacle to this vision (of the central mission of Jesus) is our false conception of love as a polar force of attraction, similar to the attraction between two bodies carrying opposite electric charges or between the poles of a mganet. Attraction implies repulsion. As unlike charges attract, like charges repel. If the love beween man and God were of such a character, it would imply that man and God stood at opposite poles and could never be united without losing their love for one another. Divine Love does not derive its power from separation but from union. It is not fullness but emptiness, not Being but the Void." -J.G. Bennett "the Masters of Wisdom"

2005-11-16T20:50:00.000-08:00

up and feeling quite achy after a long night's sleep. got the car through inspection and close to having all the moto perpetuo intro memorized. potted a plant and into work, telling all the stories of introducing bridge to laurie anderson at the airport, and his phoneticism of that rock band "the two 'oos' ". he kept telling me about this band the two oos, and that we had their record. and then when we finally got homehe showed me the u2 cd.... work went ok. it's not the easiest show to play superbly.